这一期的“天涯若比邻”栏目内容，是由来自泰国的友邻，Busayapa Srisompong的FB翻译而来。
Busayapa是一位来自泰国的人权律师，我几次看到她分享的关于“亲密关系内的暴力”的过往，都为这样一个有勇气站出来，有魄力用自己的力量，用自己曾经受到过的伤害，来保护相似境遇的人而感到钦佩。
她所描述的处境与问题并不仅仅存在于泰国，在中国我们有着极其相似的文化背景和法律处境。因而我就借机向她要来了她的推送的授权。我想作为一个没有“家暴”经历的人，我自己的文字会太过苍白，不如就以她的角度，忠实地翻译。
希望能够让大家了解更多关于家暴和如何勇敢的面对。而面对的第一步，就是不再保持沉默。
原文链接（需要翻墙）：
[TED][中英]莱斯利·摩根·斯泰纳：为什么家庭暴力受害者不离开
她是对的。我并不知道这一切会发生……
“我原以为我只是一个，爱上了一个深处苦恼的男人的坚强的女人；而我是这个世界上唯一一个可以帮助他面对他内心的魔鬼的人。”
这个视频里提到的所有问题，我都感同身受：搬到一个小镇（从大城市），经济上的不稳定，和他的童年经历，以及无数次被他用手，有时是手臂，勒住脖子，等等。（在我的故事里，并没有像这个视频，出现了枪，但他最后一次对我使用暴力时的武器，是平底锅）
从他第一次使用暴力起，到现在已经一年了。在经过了数月的身体伤害后，我却仍然没有勇气，行动起来，早一点将这件事说出来，但我相信迟做总比不做好。
不幸的是，在这个国家，家暴仍然不被当成是一个它应有的，足够严肃的问题。这种轻视不仅仅是来自法律执行方面的。很多人（甚至是女人）对此都选择了熟视无睹。
我很感激，在我所居住的那个小镇里，遇到了一群支持我去做正确的事的人。
我仍希望我的故事不要被掩藏起来，“我们需要每个人去理解家庭暴力的秘密”。
我选择打破沉默。尽管在2015年5月16日，法庭在一个下午之内完成了所有的审判，他接受了所有我对他的指控。法官也宣布他有罪——然而，仅仅一年缓刑，1500泰铢的罚款(大约300人民币）
——？！
我不会停下，因为我相信在社会里仍有很多受害者，她们没有办法说出来这一切，因为她们身处在一个试图仅仅将这个问题“正常化”的社会。
你知道你并不孤单，你一定要说出来。
女人们，如果你们仍然在忽略这个问题，想象一下如果这件事发生在你女儿的身上；而男人们，你们也不能忽视这个问题的存在。
我们必须做出改变。
She's right, I didn't know what was coming... ‘I thought I was a strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on earth who could help him face his demons.’
This is such a video I feel deeply related to, all the issues, moving to small town, financial insecurities, his childhood experiences and countless times he grabbed my neck with hands, sometimes with arms, strangling me etc.
(If you watch the video, note that my story does not include guns, his weapon in the last incident was ‘a pan.')
It has been a year since the first abuse, months of physical abuses.
Hadn't had the courage to take an action and to speak up earlier, I still believe better late than never. Unfortunately, in this country, Domestic Violence is not being taken as seriously as it is supposed to be, and not just in the aspect of law enforcement; Thais people (even women) can be rather ignorant...
I am grateful to have met these people in this small town who are supporting me to do the right thing.
I still don't want my story to be buried here, 'we need every one of you to understand the secret of domestic violence.'
I am going to break the silence, even with winning in the court against my ex-partner as of 16 May 2016, (Verdict No. Krr 5/59, Mae Sot Provincial Court), the court trial was finished in just one afternoon. He accepted all the accusation I'd made, then the court sentenced him guilty, with a one-year probation and 1,500 thb fine (approx. 50dollars) -----?!
, because I believe there are still other victims out there in the society who have no voice to speak up, being surrounded in the society that simply and virtually normalizes this issue.
You know you are not alone, and you have to talk about it.
Women, if you're ignoring it, imagine it happens to your little daughter. Men, you cannot ignore this too.
We have to make a change.
每一段关系都有他的复杂和脆弱。“没有一段关系会是完美的”，她告诉她自己。
她能做的，只有带着期待在等待着，等待着他不会再伤害她的那一天。
她选择记住他所有的好，忽略掉那些她曾经受过的伤痛。
但有时，她也会被他的行为感到疑惑，这到底是出于“爱”，还是“恨”？
她希望“他”回来，从他内心的那些魔鬼当中解脱出来。
这就是为何她从未离开，也从未试图离开。
当她身上的疤痕与日俱增的时候，
“没关系，这会愈合的”，她不停这样告诉自己。
直到有一天，她发现她再也帮不了他了。
这些魔鬼毁了她的生活。
那晚，她收拾起自己淌血的身体，流着泪，用自己残存的一点力量，在离她的故乡300英里外的小镇上，漫无目的地走着。
她还活着。
“一切都结束了”，她这样想着。
……“真的结束了吗？”
……接下来会怎样？开始新的生活？把这一切当做没发生过的样子？把过去都隐藏起来？
……或者我该静悄悄的逃走？
在她迷惑的时候，她最需要的，是“精神上的支持”。
最终，一个女人找到了她，紧接着第二个，第三个，第四个……一个接着一个。
人与人之间的吸引让她们聚到一起，并让她知道，“我不是孤单一人”。
第一个女人告诉她，她不该对此保持沉默，她不应该让这个故事消失；
第二个女人告诉她，她是有价值的，她是坚强的，她回去做正确的事；
第三个女人告诉她，她可以做到的，她可以阻止这些事情，她会保护其他的受害者；
第四个女人告诉她，她不必为说出这些事而感到羞愧，因为就应该告诉这个世界，“家暴”并不是一件“正常”的事；
第五个女人告诉她，她有所有的权利去保护她和其他受害者的权益；
第六个女人，第七个女人，和其他人，他们所有人都“授权”她，经受住所有的艰难，社会的困境，去做些什么，去完成那些她从未想过她能够做到的事，
……“去打破沉默”。
她曾经缓慢，却坚定地站起来，告诉自己，“我将会与此斗争”，为公证斗争，为阻止这些暴力的文化斗争，这些已经被大家“习以为常”太久的暴力，为其他那些正经受着相同的阻碍的受害者斗争，为阻止那些仍在循环下去的虐待文化而斗争。
她意识到，在那些最脆弱的时刻里，最重要的事情就是道义上的支持。它会给人以勇气。
有太多方式，可以给予他们支持，真正关心身边的人，这是一件简单的事。
并且，支持的力量，其强大远超过你的的想象。
——1月20日《她原以为他可以拯救他》
Every relationship has its own complexity and delicacy. ‘No relationship is perfect’ she told herself.
She could only be waiting in patience with the hope that one day ‘he would stop hurting her’.
She chose to remember his goodness and ignore the pain she had been taking.
But sometimes, she confused by his action whether it is ‘love’ or ‘hatred’.
She wanted him back, free from his demons.
That is why she never leave, never try to leave.
While the scars on her body are increasing every day.
‘It is fine, it will heal’ she kept telling herself so.
Until one day, she discovered that she could no longer help him.
The demon is going to take her life.
That night, she carried her bleeding body, in tears, with the last bits of energy, wandering desperately in the town 300 miles away from home, family.
She alive.
‘It’s over’ she thought.
..…’is it really over?’
….. then what’s going to happen, start a new life? Like this never happen? Bury the past?
......well I should be quietly run away?
In the time of confusion, what she needs the most is ‘moral support’.
Finally, one woman reached out for her, then there are the second woman, the third, the forth ..counting on
The rules of attraction caused phenomenon and made her realized that ‘I am not alone’
Woman number one told her that she should not be quiet about it, should not let this story goes away.
Woman number two told her that she is valuable, she is strong and she will do the right thing
Woman number three told her that she can do it, she can stop this problem and she will protect other women
Woman number four told her that it is not shameful to speak up about it because it meant to tell the world that violence is not normal
Woman number five told her that she has all the rights to take action to protect her right and other victims
Woman number six, number seven and others, all of them ‘empowered’ her to go through the hardship and society dilemma, for her to start to do something that she never thought she could do before.
‘…to break the silence’
She was standing up-slowly but firmly-and telling herself ‘I am going to fight’ .. fight for the justice, for stopping the violence culture which has been normalized for so long, for other victims who has been through the same obstacles, for stopping same old circle of abusive culture.
She realized that the most important thing for the moment of vulnerability is the ‘moral support’ (to give someone ‘courage’)
Which there are so many ways to give support and being concern about each other, pretty easy and simple
And, the power of support is tremendously powerful beyond imagination.
20-Jan 'She thought she could save him from his demons'
在翻译的过程中，我越来越深的感受到Busayapa所曾经历过的绝望、挣扎和痛苦，也同时更加为她选择说出来，为其他受害者所做的努力而感到由衷的敬意。在她的FB上，我看到的是她各种灿烂的笑脸，她活蹦乱跳参与的各种户外活动，她在各种会议上、分享会上自信的发言，她在自己的工作中不断为这些价值所坚持的身影。
关于亲密关系内的暴力/家暴的文章还有很多，我之所以选择她的文章，正是因为我想表达一个观点，这是一件离我们并不遥远的事，它可能发生在任何人身上，甚至是受过高等教育有着良好家庭的女孩儿身上。但这永远都不是一件需要隐瞒的事，因为，受害者没有错。
正是因为，她的故事离我们并不遥远，才更加有力量地告诉我们，家庭暴力/关系内暴力不可合理化，不是不可外扬的“家丑”。是我们必须严肃对待的，暴力和虐待行为。